It’s not squarely about how many calories we take in or how much broccoli we eat. All the vegetables in the world will not make us happy if we don’t have this one thing down.

That one thing is our thoughts!

Very difficult and frustrating to try to control I know. Every single human being on the planet, no matter how centered, self-disciplined, or self-aware he or she is, struggles with this one concept.

Every single one of us has an ego. That voice in our heads that makes us doubt anything. That little voice which tells us that we can’t do something, or that we shouldn’t.

The thing is, unless we become aware that what that voice tells us is really just an illusion, we think it’s real. It becomes so convincingly real that we totally buy into it.

And it leaves us feeling weak and depressed. Powerless. Anxious.

We get so caught up in our crazy thoughts that we fail to notice that in reality, we’re actually ok. We’re really fine.

Lacking this awareness, we let that little voice create our own self-limiting beliefs. We get in our own way and fail to accomplish what we really want out of life, whether it’s to find a loving partner, finally getting our bodies into shape, or following our soul’s calling by facing a blank square of canvas or starting a business doing the kind of soul-enriching work that we live and breathe for.

Recognizing that you are not your mind and that your thoughts are really just a compilation of the experiences and acceptations that you’ve absorbed over your lifetime is the first key to finally learning how to master them.

Kind of like when you first got constructive feedback at work, or the first time someone told you that it’s rude to constantly look at your iPhone in the company of others.

You may not have realized that looking at your cell was kind of disrespectful, but the first time someone gently told you, you realized it and started making a conscious effort to quit that behavior (hopefully!)

So how do we start bringing awareness to our thoughts?

This may sound a little woo-woo (and believe me I was very skeptical when I first tried this), but the first thing you can do when you’re bombarded with your own limiting beliefs or self-deprecation is to say a prayer. Not in the religious sense, but more in the way of asking for some higher level guidance. It doesn’t have to be to God. It’s more about looking for guidance from somewhere deep inside you that you know is the right voice.

The voice of intuition that you may have forgotten when you started buying into your ego crap (a little caveat here: don’t beat yourself up for having bought into your ego crap; you couldn’t have possibly known any better. Now that you’re getting better at this, you can shed some light on where you went wrong so that you can get back on the right track, spiritually and emotionally).

Instead of saying “I know this already” or “This won’t work for me” no matter what it is, instead ask yourself “what can I learn from this?”

No matter what it is or what you’ve already learned, you can always learn something new.

And oftentimes, when we ask ourselves a question, even if it’s something we’ve been asking ourselves for years, we usually come up with new answers or a different way of looking at things.

On a cellular level, we are training our brains on how to think differently. And if we do this enough, in a few months time we would have learned how to think new thoughts and how to examine things from a brand new angle.

So how does this relate to your health and weight loss goals?

When we teach ourselves how to examine and look at things differently, we start to become somewhat inventive.

When we start looking at the way we’ve been treating our bodies and how our energy levels are affected by what we eat, we may begin having crazy cravings for foods like Brussels sprouts and mushrooms when we used to want peanuts and M&Ms.

Or we may want a bean casserole when before all we wanted was pizza.

Or we may actually want to go to spin when before we only thought we had to.

Or instead of staying bitter about a bad breakup, you could start looking at it as a learning experience for an even better, vibrant relationship down the line.

So the key to long-term growth and happiness with our bodies, lives, and relationships lies first in managing how we think, and actively training our minds and bodies to have better thoughts and crave healthier, better foods.

Now I want to know your thoughts!  Have you ever stopped your ego crap in your head?  How do you like to look at things?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

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2013 has been unbelievably hard so far, to say the least.

Dealing with my mother’s death two months ago was one thing. I didn’t see it coming, but I still had my dad around to bounce time with. I got used to spending half my time at my dad’s place just to see how he was doing.

While he had definitely been sick for awhile, I had no idea that his frail health would deteriorate so rapidly. Though we had our issues in the past, we were at a point in our relationship where at this moment in time, the past just didn’t matter.

A week before he died he gave me his blessing about moving to Australia. He told me that if I thought that that would make me happy, that I should just go for it and not let himself be a factor in my decision making.

Now today I wonder if he knew that his time was coming to a rapid end. I sure as hell didn’t.

The aftermath of my father’s death has been harder than I ever thought it would be. I can honestly say that these last two weeks have been the most stressful of my entire life. Burying my dad, going through 30+ years of my parents’ belongings just to figure out what’s in there, and beginning the process of settling their affairs for good has been emotionally draining to say the least.

And I’m not exactly a great juggler either. I don’t like having to call appraisers, contractors, lawyers, going to different legal agencies, it’s just too much.

Earlier this week I hit my near breaking point. I felt my blood thicken from all the stress. I got chills when it wasn’t really cold. My lips starting to chap like they never had before despite the fact that I’ve been using a never-ending supply of chapstick.

Then, miraculously, I listening to my inner guide. She told me basically to chill the fuck out! And she reminded me of something that has since brought me back to sanity.

And it’s this:

This is just a temporary thing.

This is only a temporary situation. The rest of my life, fortunately, will not be like this.

I’m moving to Australia in July. I’m FREAGGIN’ MOVING TO AUSTRALIA! Seriously, what better light at the end of this tunnel could there be than that?

So yea, while taking care of some of this stuff is going to suck a little bit right now, there is a higher purpose to all of this.

When all is said and done, I’ll be able to start over with a clean slate. Hopefully, not look back at my now and former life, but only look ahead.

All I have to do now is take care of things, and take care of things right.

And in the meantime, remind myself that this is a temporary thing.

So if you ever feel as if the world is crashing down on you, I hope that you can take 5 minutes to sit in silence and listen to your inner guide. She (or he) will have the right answer for you.

And if that doesn’t work, try to remember that there’s always at least one other person (if not many many more) out in the world who has it way worse than you.

In the comments below, tell me, have you ever in your life felt as if the world was crashing down on you? Like there were a million things you had to deal with all at once? How did you get past it? What did it teach you?

As always, thank you so much for listening, reading, and being a part of my life.

-Nancy

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One of the biggest compliments I get from people is that they admire the fact that I really stick to my guns.

For example, in 2006 when I decided I was going to stop eating red meat, there was never a point in time following that moment when I craved a hamburger or a pork chop. There was never “I’m craving some pepperoni on my pizza so I’m going to eat it now and forget about it later.”

Nope, that thought never even crossed my mind. Not even once in the 7 years I’ve gone without pepperoni. Or since I stopped eating meat entirely last year.

Not when I began to associate so strongly with the fact that I no longer ate meat. It became a part of my identity.

And that strong association with that part of my identity led me to intuitive behavior that supported that association. Not only did I stop eating meat, I didn’t even want it. The thought of eating it didn’t even cross my mind.

One of the things that I teach my clients is to develop a list of guidelines that they want to identify with and make a part of who they are. Basically, it’s a list of beliefs that guide their choices of how they operate, and I also have a list of my own personal guidelines that determine how I live my own life so that I can make decisions easily and guilt-free.

I’m sharing my own guidelines that I live by with you here, but I’m not saying that you should adopt them for yourself. In fact, I implore you not to.

I’m sharing these guidelines with you to inspire and encourage you to develop a personal philosophy of your own. You may have your sense of identity in your head, but I strongly recommend that you put pen to paper and write them down. They can be guidelines about anything, from your diet, to your attitudes about life, money, work, religion, or whatever lights you up.

So here are my own personal guidelines that I aim to live by and hope that inspires you to develop your own.

Nancy’s guidelines for life:

1. I will be in bed no later than 10:30pm every night, 5 days a week. I’ll be looser about this on Friday and Saturday evenings as well as on limited and special occasions.
2. I will write about 1,000 words per day, 6 days per week whether or not I ever intend to publish them.
3. I will eat a healthy, green, plant-based diet. If dairy or eggs sneaks into anything I eat, it will only be when I travel and where it’s impractical to 100% avoid these types of foods. I absolutely will not eat meat or fish.
4. I will begin and end each and every day with a reflection and remembering to show gratitude for everything I have and who I am.
5. I will not think negative or deprecating thoughts about myself or anyone else. If any negative thought sneaks in, I’ll recognize that it’s a reflection of a fear or disdain I have within myself. I will observe the thought nonjudgmentally and let it go.
6. I will put in positive energy into whatever activity I am working on, whether it’s my day job, being in the environment, exercise, cleaning, or whatever.
7. I will introduce myself to anyone new that I meet as a health coach. I aim to do this at least one time per week.
8. I will recognize in every minute of my life that everything in my life is exactly as it should be, because I have consciously and unconsciously attracted everything in my life. All things that happen to me, good or bad, are my personal responsibility.
9. I will devote my life to helping other women improve themselves physically, spiritually, and emotionally, by both eating healthy foods and thinking healthy thoughts. This is my intention.
10. I will consciously choose being happy over being right, at the expense of my ego’s pride. I will choose love.
11. I will not care for or entertain other people’s negative attitudes towards me. I will clean the negativity out of my life. I will operate in my life as an authentic being.
12. I will aim to improve myself every day of my life, and to be the confident, happy, successful woman that I know I am meant to be.
13. I will aim to laugh every day. I will aim to look at each circumstance I am in from a place of love, not fear.
14. I will aim to help and share freely the best and most powerful advice that I have to offer and have learned in my own journey of self-growth. No matter if anyone chooses to follow me or agree, I will always aim to help make a positive difference in the lives of the people that I affect.
15. I will work consciously every day to look at life through the lens of abundance, not scarcity, whether this relates to food, money, time, or energy. In this practice I will no longer feel that I must sacrifice, overeat, squirrel away, or judge myself for not getting everything I want when I want it.

These guidelines help me to make decisions that are in line with how I define myself as a human being. They simplify my life by guiding me to be true to how I think of myself.

I know that you may or may not care for this list. You may think that I’m being completely self-absorbed by publishing my list of guidelines on my website.

For the people that think I’m being completely self-absorbed, I want to tell you that the point of publishing this is not to gloat, show off, gain attention, or tell people how great I am.

The point of this is merely to encourage you to think for yourself and develop your own personal identity.

And that’s the kind of reaction I get from the women that I’m interested in serving. The women who realize that what’s causing them to make choices they’ll regret or feel a deep self-loathing is not a lack of information. Thanks to the Google and a plethora of all sorts of content, information on anything is out and up for grabs.

Instead, what’s causing you to make decisions you regret later is a lack of clear personal guidelines to live by.

Every day, you make choices that you wind up regretting. But you also make choices that no matter how easy or difficult they are to make, you know they’re right and in line with how you define yourself.

Wouldn’t you rather make more of the right decisions with less of the painstaking effort?

Of course you would, which is exactly how your guidelines on living life come in handy.

In this post I’ve given you a framework to think about your own personal guidelines for life.

If you want to go deeper into this topic, I’d love to work more closely with you on how to develop and achieve your own personal philosophies and mission. In coaching with me, we go deeply into how you operate in your life so that you can break down your own self-destructive patterns for good.

Yes, I really mean for good.

As a result of making more decisions that line up with who you are as a person, you’ll live with less guilt and frustration, and finally allow yourself to live authentically and frustration-free.

If you want more details on coaching with me, click here to request a free consultation with me.

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